The first year of being married is an awesome time. You’re discovering a life with the person you love most, you’re making plans together, and you’re keen to see what might happen next. And really, this sense of optimism is very good!
However, you should also have a few difficult conversations with your spouse and see where you both stand on them. 12 months is a long time in a relationship, and the two of you should be sure about how you feel, what you want, and what feels right to you.
Your 5 Year Plan
You’ve probably already talked about this at length, but these first 12 months are a good time to revisit the plan you’ve come up with together and see if it still applies. How do the two of you feel now you’re living together, you’re married, and you have combined finances?
For example, you may have decided before the marriage that you wanted kids as soon as possible. Is that still going to be on the cards for you? Or would you like to put the idea on the backburner for a little while and figure married life out first? It’s up to you, and the ability to talk about the plan should never be closed off from either of you.
Your Household Expectations
What do the two of you need to do to live peacefully in a house together? This usually means splitting chores and errands 50/50, but sometimes one person may have to do more than the other. Say one of you works much longer hours; they’re not going to have as much free time, and to keep things fair, you may need to do one of their ‘jobs’ now and then.
However, if you’re going to need to do this all the time, you need to speak up now and let your partner know that’s not going to be OK with you. Simply put, set out expectations between the two of you ASAP, check in with these expectations every now and then, and you’ll keep your married life on a smooth course.
That an Argument Doesn’t Mean You’ve Made a Mistake
Arguing during this ‘honeymoon phase’ can often feel like a total disaster. You’re suddenly opposed to one another and feeling less like the couple you’ve gotten used to. It might even feel like you’ve made a mistake and it’s time to look into divorce laws adultery and beyond.
However, a few arguments here and there are perfectly normal. If the amount you’re having ever bothers you, be sure to talk about it with your partner. Be open, honest, and make sure the two of you stay calm. You’re here to seek a resolution; doing this every time you think about arguing might even be the best course of action for the two of you.
The first year after being married is a monumental time. Treat it with respect by checking in on the way it’s going.
