Best Fruit Cake Recipe Ever {Funny}



The Best Fruit Cake Recipe You Will Ever Try! Guaranteed to Tickle your Tummy! 

Fruit Cake Recipe

Here’s What you’ll need: 

1 cup of water, 1  cup of sugar, 4  large brown eggs,2 cups of dried fruit,1 teaspoon of salt,3 cups flour, a cup of brown sugar,1 t. nutmeg, nuts, and a very large bottle of whiskey.

Sample the whiskey to check for quality.

Take a large bowl and assemlbe all of the ingredients.  Check the whiskey again.  To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and cream until beat.

Make sure the whiskey is still okay… Try another cup. Turn off the mixer.

Beat two large leggs and add to the bowl. Chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the tuner.

Throw in two quarts of flour. Gradually pour in the cow. Add 2 dried anything.

If the fried druit gets struck in the beaters, pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the whiskey and check it again for tonsistency.

Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Whateva???   Who cares? Check the whiskey.

Now sift the nutmeg and strain your nuts. Add one table. One Spoon.  Of whiskee. Or something. Whatever you can find.

Grease the oven. Turn the crake pan to 350 degrees. Don’t forget to beat off the turner. Pour the oven into the batter. Throw the bowl out the window. Lick the batter off the floor.

Bake 300 minutes at 50 degrees until done.

Finish the bobble of whishy and glow to bed.



  1. Dee says:

    This is the first fruitcake that actually looks edible.

  2. That was hilarious! Thanks for sharing!

  3. Ha, thanks for sharing.

  4. Using that particular recipe, I think I’d actually enjoy me some fruitcake!

  5. Tracy says:

    You should make a video:) funny.

  6. Donna says:

    LOL! This is the only way I’d enjoy fruit cake.

  7. This fruitcake actually looks good!

  8. lisa brown says:

    I love this recipe. My mouth started watering the moment I saw the graphic. Yum! Thank you!

  9. Stephanie says:

    looks good :):)

  10. Beautiful Fruit Cake! My daughter will love this one.

  11. Lynn says:

    haha this is hilarious! I think a video tutorial is in order ;)

  12. kath g says:

    I actually like fruit cake and i LOVE the way you make it! pour me in, i mean, count me in.

  13. Marti Tabora says:

    This cracked me up, it’s definitely a much better way to make fruitcake.

  14. Carol Nine says:

    That’s funny, thanks for sharing.

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